


Genius Love Connection?

by absquatulator28



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: BAU shenanigans, Humor, Poor Reid, Surprise online dating
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 12:42:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/absquatulator28/pseuds/absquatulator28
Summary: Reid knows something's up when more than half of the BAU is gathered in Garcia's Batcave. He had thought what they had up their sleeve wouldn't be that bad, but he's not so sure anymore...





	1. And So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! Thank you for taking the time to look at my fic. I'd just like to say that this is my first time posting my fanfiction, so if you have any tips after reading, feel free to let me know. I'd love to hear your valuable input. Again, thank you, and I hope you enjoy it!

“Come hither, Boy Genius!” 

Reid looked up at the sound of Garcia calling him. She was standing a few feet away from his desk, dressed in her usual bright, cheery attire. Something seemed to have put Garcia in a particularly happy mood today. Her eyes gleaming, mouth smiling widely, Garcia gestured frantically for Reid to come over to her. 

Curious as to what could have gotten the BAU’s tech analyst so excited, Reid carefully set down the paperwork he was currently making his way through. He had a pretty tall stack looming on top of his desk; Reid suspected some of the papers had been sneaked into his pile by the rest of the team. Contrary to what the others believed, Reid knew all about their habit of slipping him extra paperwork, he just didn’t mind. Filling out the paperwork relaxed him, and it felt good to know he was helping out his teammates. 

“Hey, Garcia,” Reid said, standing up and going over to the bubbly (currently) blonde. 

Before any more could be said, Garcia grabbed Reid by the hand, and started dragging him to the Batcave. Helpless to stop his stubborn friend, Reid looked around the Bullpen for anybody else who might offer him some support. Curiously, he was unable to spot any of the other members of the BAU. Filing this strange bit of information away for later, Reid shrugged and let himself get pulled along. He had learned a long time ago that there was no stopping Penelope Garcia. 

How does she move so fast in heels? 

Garcia stopped in front of the door to her Office of Supreme Genius, and let go of Reid’s hand. She looked up at him almost expectantly. Confused, Reid tried to find out what was going on.

“Garcia, what’s--” was all he could make out before the door opened from the inside. Reid was quickly shooed inside by the tech analyst, who by now could hardly contain her excitement. 

Reid entered the room, the familiar monitors and crazy items on the desk putting him at ease. Everything was just as it always was. What was strange, however, was the Batcave’s current occupants. Looking around the room, Reid’s brows drew together as he made eye contact with none other than Prentiss, Morgan, and JJ. The wheels spinning in his mind as to why so many of the team were gathered in Garcia’s office, Reid didn’t notice when the latter came into the room behind him, closing the door and effectively trapping him inside. If this wasn’t slightly disconcerting, Reid didn’t know what was. 

“Spence!” JJ greeted Reid happily, her eyes shining with glee and….was that an impish look on her face? Doing a quick once-over of the room, he noticed that everyone seemed as if they were excitedly waiting for something. It didn’t take being a profiler to realize that this something would not be something good, at least not for him. 

Sighing in resignation of whatever would be his fate, Reid responded with a, “Hi, JJ.” Deciding that getting straight to it would be the best way to handle this situation, he added, “What’s going on, guys?”

Prentiss looked as if she had been waiting for him to ask this for quite a while now, her lips being pressed together very tightly. Hearing Reid’s question must have unlocked the floodgates, because Prentiss opened her mouth quickly, drawing in a sharp breath so that she would have enough air to get all that she had been holding in out. 

“We--” Prentiss began, relishing her chance to reveal to Reid what was in store. But before she could say her part, Garcia beat her to it. 

“We’re signing you up for a dating website!” Garcia squealed. It had obviously taken a whole lot of self control for her to make it this long without saying anything. Though she ended up stealing Prentiss’s spotlight, at least Garcia had the decency to look sheepish after blurting it out. Not that she regretted it, of course. 

For a moment, Prentiss looked crushed. But only for a moment. What brought her spirits back up again was the look of shock and utter horror on Reid’s face. He had begun to suspect things were not going to go well for him, but this was much worse than he had ever imagined. For once, the BAU’s resident genius had nothing to say. He simply could not fathom what he was about to endure. 

“Let’s get started!” JJ enthusiastically proclaimed, eager to begin. 

Reid groaned at the cheers echoing through the room.


	2. Setting up the Account

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His teammates have got Reid trapped. Now it's time to set up his dating profile.

Even though he knew it was futile, Reid tried to dash to the door and escape while the others were distracted. He might’ve made it, if it weren’t for Morgan’s quick reflexes. 

“Nuh uh, Pretty Boy. You’re not getting out of this that easy,” he teased, grinning at the expression of dread on Reid’s face. Reid looked on helplessly as Morgan guided him into an office chair. 

“Come on, guys,” Reid pleaded. He made individual eye contact with everyone in the room, hoping to see some sympathy in any of their faces. All he got in return were looks of anticipation. 

“Don’t you think it’s time you found someone to make baby geniuses with?” Asked Garcia, feigning innocence. At this remark, Reid’s face turned a bright shade of red. He ducked his head, attempting to hide the obvious fact of his embarrassment. 

JJ gave Garcia one of her “Mom Looks” that told her to reign it in a little. She then turned her attention back to the blushing Reid. “Embrace it, Spence. We’re just gonna set up a dating profile for you, and see what happens. You could keep fighting it, or you could choose to have some fun with the rest of us.”

Reid had to admit, JJ had a point. His face now back to its usual hue, Reid lifted his head up. “...alright,” he grumbled. Reid would stop fighting it, but that didn’t mean he had to enjoy it. 

Garcia perked up at this, clapping her hands together in excitement. Immediately afterwards, she sat down in her own chair, and pulled up the dating site the team had chosen. The others in the room watched her fingers fly over the keyboard, never ceasing to be impressed by Garcia’s skills. 

While Reid, Morgan, and JJ were distracted by Garcia, Prentiss discreetly pulled out her phone. She had to move fast, before their resident genius saw what she was up to.

“What was that for?” Reid asked, annoyed, as a bright flash went off from Prentiss’s phone. He had never really liked having his picture taken, and this was definitely no exception. 

“We had to get a picture of you to use for your profile, duh,” said Prentiss, chuckling at the look of indignation on Reid’s face. She sent the picture to Garcia, who quickly uploaded it into the account settings as Reid’s profile photo.

This part done, it was time to move on to creating an overview of the good Dr. Spencer Reid. Said doctor begrudgingly answered each question his team pestered him with to create the dating account he did not want. There was no way Reid would admit it, but he was actually beginning to enjoy himself. Joking around with his friends, discussing seemingly random questions that were apparently important for his profile, this whole “surprise online dating” was turning out to not be that bad after all.

“What’s your current occupation?”

“Garcia, you already know that.”

“Alright, fine, fine. Grumpy Gus.”

________________________________

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Green, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I see no point in ranking the colors based off of what we individually find most visually appealing, when really it’s completely subjective--”

“Okay, okay. I’m just gonna put green.”

_______________________________

“If you were stuck on a deserted island, and could only bring three personal items, what would they be?”

“I don’t see how that has anything to do with this.”

“Just answer the questions, Reid.”

______________________________

Reid’s account was finally set up. It had taken longer than expected, but nobody seemed to mind. Everyone was laughing too much to care about anything else. 

“Alrighty. You’re all set, my Junior G-Man,” announced a grinning Garcia. 

With a smile to match that of everyone else’s in the room, Reid nodded, and made to get up from the chair. He was gently pushed back down by Morgan. 

Reid’s puzzled look prompted an explanation from JJ. “You thought we were just gonna set up your dating profile and that would be that? For a genius, you sure don’t seem to know that much,” she teased. “Now that your account is up and running, it’s time to start looking for that special someone.”

With a defeated sigh, Reid slumped back into his chair. Answering a bunch of fun questions and creating a dating account with his friends was one thing. Actually looking through the site, and possibly having to communicate with online strangers was a whole other thing that Reid wasn’t sure he’d be up to. However, a quick glance around the room told him there was no other way. 

This was sure going to be an adventure.


End file.
